Why Parents (and Especially Moms) Take On So Much—And How Letting Go Can Be a Game-Changer

Parenting is no joke. From juggling schedules to meal planning, from managing chores to soothing tears, we parents (especially us moms) often feel like the one holding the entire household together. We’re planners, organizers, peacemakers, and occasionally, reluctant referees.

But let’s be real: when all that effort goes unnoticed or unappreciated—or worse, met with resistance—it can feel utterly deflating. Those moments might leave us thinking, Why bother?

Let me tell you about a recent experience of mine that sums this up perfectly:

The Hallmark Family Christmas Photo

For 11 years, I’ve wanted a festive family Christmas photo. You know, one of those picture-perfect moments where everyone is in coordinated outfits, smiles abound, and the magic of the season seems encapsulated in a single snapshot.

But reality? Oh, it has other plans. Between juggling life’s chaos, managing reluctant participants (ahem, kids and partner), and the sheer effort required to plan and execute, the annual Christmas photo has never materialized.

Sure, we’ve taken family pictures before, but not during the notoriously busy holiday season. And, honestly, the thought of enduring groans about “dressing up” or complaints about the timing had always stopped me in my tracks.

This year, though? Something changed.

Lowering the Stakes

I decided to approach the photoshoot with a new mindset: low expectations. No lofty dreams of a picture-perfect outcome. No elaborate pitches to convince my family why this matters. In fact, I didn’t even tell them about the photoshoot until the night before!

I kept it simple:

• “We’re doing this tomorrow morning. Ideally, wear something that makes it look like we're a team (that's family code for matching).”
• “If you’re not feeling it? No problem. I’m cool with the ‘family’ photo just being me and Zeus (our cute pup).”

And you know what? The world didn’t fall apart.

Why Letting Go Worked

With this shift in my mindset, I realized that the battle I’d been dreading wasn’t necessary at all. By lowering my expectations and releasing control, I diffused the tension before it had a chance to build.

Here’s the kicker: it all worked out! Was it flawless? Nope. Were there some groans and eye rolls? Of course. But the photo happened, and it’s a memory we now have forever.

The Skill of Letting Go

This experience got me thinking about how much we, as parents, cling to outcomes. Whether it’s a chore done a certain way, a peaceful dinner table, or holiday traditions executed to Pinterest-level perfection, we often hold on too tightly to how things “should” look.

The truth? Some battles just aren’t worth fighting.

Letting go isn’t about giving up or not caring. It’s about recognizing what truly matters and finding peace in the chaos. It’s a skill—one that requires practice, but oh, the freedom it brings.

Where Can You Let Go?

Here’s my challenge for you: is there an area in your parenting journey where you can let go of the outcome and just see what happens?

Here are a few possibilities:

1. Chores: Maybe the towels aren’t folded Marie Kondo style, but hey, they’re clean and put away. Win.
2. Sibling Arguments: Instead of playing referee, let them work it out. You might be surprised at how capable they are of resolving their own disputes.
3. Meals: Dinner doesn’t have to be a culinary masterpiece every night. A “snack plate” of cheese, crackers, and fruit is perfectly acceptable. It's what the elite call a "charcuterie board". Haha!
4. Holiday Chaos: Can you simplify the gift-giving or forego the elaborate decor for a season? Focus on what brings you joy.
5. Homework Battles: Try stepping back for a week. Let natural consequences take the lead—it might foster accountability.

The Benefits of Letting Go

When you release your grip on the outcome, amazing things can happen:

• Freedom: You’re no longer chained to near-impossible standards.
• Ease: Life feels less like an uphill battle.
• Peace of Mind: You worry less about perfection and more about what truly matters—connection, love, and shared moments.

Letting go also models an important lesson for our kids: flexibility and resilience. Life doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.

Real Talk: It’s Not Always Easy

Of course, there are non-negotiables in parenting—safety, respect, and responsibilities. And there will be times when you have to stick to your guns, endure the protests, and insist on follow-through.

But learning to pick your battles can make all the difference. You’ll preserve your sanity and maybe even find more joy along the way.

Curious About the Photo?

You might be wondering how our family Christmas photo turned out. Follow me on IG @evolvingwithnatalie - I'll post them there when I receive them... figures crossed it worked out okay!

The truth is, no matter how it turned out... I know it'll be imperfectly us.
Why? Because it'll capture the real, chaotic, imperfect moment in time. And that’s what parenting—and life—is all about.

What Will You Let Go Of?

So, what’s one thing you can try letting go of this week? Is it the mountain of laundry? The expectation of a spotless house? The perfect holiday card? 

I’d love to hear what you’re practicing letting go of—because, trust me, once you start, you might just find a little more freedom, ease, and peace in your life. Let me know in the comments or send me a message. And if you’ve ever had a family photo disaster (or success), I want to hear that story too!

Here’s to choosing our battles and embracing imperfection—one messy, beautiful moment at a time.
With love and compassion,
Natalie
@evolvingwithnatalie
www.evolvingwithnatalie.com