Extracurriculars! Top 3 Tips to Save Time & Money while Raising Well-Rounded Kids

When it comes to extracurriculars, we often find ourselves in a delicate balancing act. We want to raise well-rounded kids and give them opportunities we may have enjoyed or missed out on. But extracurricular activities can quickly become a source of stress, eating up time, money, and sometimes sparking arguments between you and your children.

So, how do you know if you’re choosing the right activities? More importantly, how do you manage the time and financial investment while ensuring your child is developing into a well-rounded, resilient, and happy individual?

Let’s dive into these 3 essential tips that will help you choose extracurriculars wisely, save you from unnecessary stress, and lead to the development of great human beings!

I was on Breakfast Television talking about this very thing!!!

Top 3 Tips

1. Know Your Bandwidth: Time and Money Matter

Before you even begin looking at extracurricular options, the first step is knowing your personal bandwidth. This means taking stock of how much time and money you realistically have available to invest in your child’s activities. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to give your kids everything, but spreading yourself (and your kids) too thin can backfire.

Time Investment:
Ask yourself how many evenings and weekends you want to dedicate driving to and from activities, attending games or recitals, or fitting in practice time. Consider your overall family schedule. Do you value having dinner together as a family, or is there a dedicated family night that’s important? If so, make sure the activities you choose don’t interfere with these priorities.

For example, our family is very busy on the weekends, so we make Monday evenings our "rest and reset" time. No activities, no plans, just some downtime as a family to catch our breath before the week really ramps up. Having this predictable evening helps us recharge and keep balance in our lives.

Financial Investment:
Extracurricular activities can get expensive—fast. Between program fees, equipment, attire, and travel expenses, you can quickly blow your budget if you're not careful. Be clear on what you’re willing to spend. It’s okay to set financial boundaries. For example, if your child’s best friend is doing three extracurriculars and your child is getting fomo (fear of missing out) and is begging to do them too, stick to what works best for your family and budget.

Know Your Family Values:
Before deciding on activities, sit down and clarify what’s most important to your family. Do you prioritize time together, educational enrichment, physical fitness, creativity, or a combination? Knowing your values will help you make decisions that align with what’s truly important to you and your kids. For instance, if your family values time together over the weekends, you might opt for activities that happen during the week.

2. Co-Create and Negotiate with Your Kids

Kids have their own interests, personalities, and developmental stages, which means what works for one child might not work for another. Co-creating their extracurricular schedule with them can lead to better outcomes, fewer arguments, and more motivation on their part.

Understand Who Wants the Activity:
A common issue parents face is when a child resists an activity, leading to complaints and frustration. For instance, a client once told me, “Jenny keeps giving me a hard time about piano lessons.” My first question: Who wanted to sign up for piano—Jenny or you?

If you’re pushing for an activity that your child didn’t have a say in, it’s natural that they may resist. To prevent this, involve your child in the decision-making process. Present the options and negotiate based on their interests and what’s important to you as a parent.

Offer Developmentally Appropriate Choices:
It's important to give kids some level of autonomy but within developmentally appropriate boundaries. For example, if swimming is a non-negotiable in your family (perhaps because it’s a critical life skill), communicate that expectation clearly. You can say, “We’re signing up for swim lessons because it’s important to learn how to swim safely. However, if you’re interested in trying out a different activity, we can look into that too.”

Offer choices but make it clear which activities are negotiable and which aren’t. You could say, “We’ll try piano for a term, and if you’re still not enjoying it, we can reassess." If music is really important to you and your family, perhaps you can give them choice of which instrument to play. 

Encourage Grit and Social Skills:
Extracurricular activities are a great way to build grit, resilience, and social competency—skills that are particularly important in today’s digital age. Encouraging your kids to step outside their comfort zones can foster growth, but this must be done with love and understanding. If your child is overwhelmed with choices or resists every suggestion, gently guide them while respecting their needs. Being firm yet kind is key.

For example, my own child once wanted to sign up for multiple activities at once. While I appreciated the enthusiasm, I had to lovingly help narrow down the choices. It’s all about balance—encouraging their interests while making sure they don’t overextend themselves.

Be mindful of kids who transition with difficulty. They may need extra encouragement to adapt to a new routine, and patience goes a long way here.

3. Be the Architect of Your Child’s Brain

As a parent, you have the unique responsibility of shaping your child’s brain and development. Extracurriculars are an excellent tool to help cultivate essential life skills like responsibility, accountability, communication, and social skills. However, it’s easy to fall into the trap of over-scheduling, which can lead to burnout and overwhelm—for both you and your child.

Focus on Lifelong Skills:
Extracurricular activities are not just about keeping your child occupied or helping them excel in a sport or instrument. They provide an opportunity to develop frontal lobe skills, like following through on commitments, being accountable, and managing time. These are the skills that will help them succeed in adulthood.

For example, if your child wants to quit an activity after a few weeks, it’s a great time to teach about integrity and responsibility. You might say, “We don’t have to sign up for this activity again, but we committed to this term, so let’s see it through. This will help us practice integrity, even when it gets tough.”

Starting with activities that align with your child’s interests helps build their confidence and resilience. As they experience small wins, they’ll be more likely to take on challenges in other areas of life.

Avoid Common Parental Pitfalls:
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is overloading their kids with too many activities without involving them in the conversation. Another pitfall is signing kids up for activities just because "everyone else is doing it." It’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap, but this can lead to stress for both you and your child.

Instead, ask yourself: "What’s my intention behind signing my child up for this extracurricular?" Are you doing it because your child genuinely wants to, or because you feel pressured by what other families are doing? Be intentional about choosing activities that make sense for your family.

Balance Extracurriculars with Downtime:
While activities are a great way to develop skills, make sure your child has unstructured downtime to rest and recharge. This balance is essential for healthy brain development. Allow time for play, imagination, and even boredom—without screens. These quiet moments are when creativity and problem-solving flourish.

Final Thoughts: Setting Yourself and Your Kids Up for Success

Extracurricular activities are a wonderful opportunity to raise well-rounded, resilient, and socially competent children. But they need to be done with intention and balance. By knowing your bandwidth, co-creating the schedule with your kids, and focusing on lifelong skills, you can set your family up for success.

Remember, it’s not about doing "all" the things—it’s about doing the right things for your child and your family. When approached thoughtfully, extracurriculars can lead to incredible benefits, fostering personal growth, resilience, and joy in both you and your kids!

My Personal Story - such a long but important process!!!

If you want to hear about the very unconventional and long-awaited win when it came to supporting my child with math and school, please check out this video here. Here's a hint - dance had A LOT to do with it!

If you're not sure what extracurriculars are best for your family or, you want to help your child build a sense of integrity, accountability and resilience when it comes to following through with their commitments, let's chat!